Hello 2010, hello all our dear friends and fans, hello those who keep updating our news and wrote comments to us, hello those hidden ones who likes us but prefer not to leave trails, hello those who never knew us yet but we know we’re gonna get you soon, hello music lover and hello brother and sister. It’s because of you we’re still here, please believe that.
2009 was quite a shit year for us frankly, both Ichiro and CW’s grandma passed away in 2009. In band, we thought we saw hope but it turns out a waste of time and energy, but still I like to thank those planner too, though they only like to plan stuff, they did got me realize how difficult the situation is, and how strong we have to be in order to survive. It is until recently that we decided to be totally independent, and do EVERYTHING ourselves, then only things starting to improve.
We did send our song(Black and red’s Christmas) to the radio stations with hope of getting it on-air during Christmas but being local and independent is like committed two sins of the industry, nobody can help us other than ourselves. Fortunately enough, the same song got us nominated in the VIMA awards (Voice Independent Music Awards) of Best Chinese Act and Best Pop Group, chosen and attend by the biggest names in the local industry by invitation only. Now our song and interview get to play on the same radio, our names and pictures get to appear in newspaper and mags. How ironic this changes in within a month.
Looking back the path we’ve been through, I’ve grown from a quiet, passive, scarred rookie into a fighter. A lot of times I thought I’ve hit the bottom, depressed for few weeks, then I’ll start over again. A lot of times I thought I’ve hit the limit, I again depressed for few weeks, then I’ll break it and start all over again. Good thing is the depressing time gets shorter every time, I can recover faster now.
It’s amazing, realize I now got the nerve to talk live in radio on-air, to talk to stranger in the phone, to present songs to listener, to approach people. Playing a leader role was never ever in any of my expectation, I am always a loner, a self-pity boy, a boy that’s always running away. Inside I’m still a confident-less person who not sure how to dress, how to walk, even how to talk. “Am I communicating right? Am I dressing fine to fit in? How they think of me? Am I a stubborn person?”, and I have to endure envious people saying bad things about us. “Am I doing good enough?”, this questions always troubles me, every second.
No matter how tough it is to be where we are now(we haven’t even started), I can foresee a tougher road beyond us and it’s so obvious I have to break even more limits to get there, it’s so scary it made me hard to sleep sometimes. It’s because of the band I get to be who I am now, I have to.
That said, the band is still the best thing that happen to me, I’ve had lots of fun, dozens of crazy times, brotherhood of bandmates and full of precious memories. Thanks Mage Era, may you have a vibrant and fruitful 2010.
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moon.
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Alive Not Dead